Psychedelics, Yoga and the Shamanic Journey Part III : Mexico

An exploration into the Columbian and Peruvian Ayuahuasca Traditions and an unexpected meeting with the ‘The Toad’ (Bufo Alvarius). Psychedelics and Yoga. Healing Trauma in Mexico. According to research by led by Dr. Peter Levine and Dr. Van der Kolk, trauma is experienced when we feel that our capacity to respond is taken away from us. This is why soldiers who experience a surprise attack are more likely to suffer from PTSD than soldiers who are responsible for the surprise attack. There is violence on both ends, but the surprise of the attack can leave the surprised soldiers feeling like they could not respond to the situation. Off the battle field and into daily life, this perception of an inability to respond is also highly correlated with anxiety and depression. I discuss this in greater detail here. There is also evidence that as a first response to stress and fear human beings look to the facial expressions and the physical touch of other human beings to help instantly regulate cortisol levels and the fight-flight stress response.  It is postulated that if this fight-flight response is left alone to accelerate, it can result in ´freezing´ – a paralysis of the nervous system. This can then manifest as symptoms of trauma associated with PTSD and depression. The video below offers a more in depth explanation of this  psych-biological process of trauma. Therefore, when the Covid-19 restrictions in Spain forced me to unexpectedly close the doors of my center, take all my classes online, isolate myself from others and move back to America, leaving behind everything I had built up for almost a decade, and move into a world of fear where even my own mother refused to hug me for fear of Covid contagion, I knew I had all the right ingredients just waiting to cook themselves up into a masterpiece of trauma and depression. In an effort to move out of this difficult period, I enrolled in a Yoga Therapy course with the Paramanand Institute. This Yoga Therapy certification course was educative and helped me to release some of this stored up stress. However, it was the relationship I developed with other Yoga therapists which acted as the greatest trauma healing balm during this time of transition.  After finishing this Yoga Therapy certification course I experienced an irresistible urge to get out of my safe and comfortable isolation that I had been enjoying with my tia (aunt) on her farm in Alabama. I felt my wounds had sufficiently healed enough so that I could strap on my backpack and start exploring the world once again. I decided that since my experience of Ayahuasca in Barcelona had been so constructive and positive and appeared to correspond with the aforementioned research outlined in Part I, I would start my journey of integrating psychedelics & yoga for healing & trauma in a place where access to these ceremonies was easily accessible and where I had a friend of over 15 years to help support me in the journey. I decided to head south to Mexico.  My aim was to explore further the healing practices of psychedelic indigenous medicine, like Ayahuasca, its healing trauma effects upon others, as well as my own sense of anguish and disempowerment that was sitting ominously somewhere in the back of my mind. It was there, just looming over me, and threatening to suffocate my usual sense of curiosity and adventure. Still in contact after 15 years, I reached out to my friend Alberto who was still living in the Yucatán Peninsula working as a tour guide. The Columbian Ayahuasca (Yagé) Tradition Less than a week after arriving to the Yucatán, my friend Alberto and I drove out to a small and beautiful little eco-dome located in the middle of the jungle near Playa del Carmen. We had prepared ourselves for the Ayahuasca ceremony with light vegetarian meals, no coffee and no alcohol for three days. I intensified my Yoga practice and participated in an ice bath (see right) at Alberto´s insistence. I also fasted for 18 hours before participating in the ceremony.  The Experience After my experience in BarcelonaI had learned to head into these ceremonies without any kind of expectation – BUT I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t a little nervous about what might happen. When Alberto and I got to the eco-dome, there was a group of about 20 others (a pretty even mix of international and Mexican participants). Some were new to the world of psychedelics for trauma healing while others were experienced veterans. Everyone quietly mulling about, setting up their mats chatting away while awaiting the arrival of the Columbian Shaman. When he arrived I felt instantly reassured by the genuine and friendly smile that seemed permanently etched onto his face. Meeting him I understood why the the Ayahuasca shamans were often called abuelos (grandfather) or Taita (Healers). He moved with ease and joked quietly with those nearby. When he told us he was was 70 years old, I thought he could easily have been 15 years younger.  He spoke briefly and informed us that in Columbia Ayahuasca is often referred as Yagé (pronounced Yah-Hey) and that he was both a shaman and medical doctor but that the true healing came from the plant herself, not from him. With that stated, the ceremony started with the fire pit being lit and the four directions being honored with a blow of a conch shell and a shouted ¡Ah HO! Participants patiently sat on their mats awaiting the signal to get in line to take their first toma (dose) of the evening. The Shaman informed us that there was honey within the the psychedelic brew and as we approached to take the first toma he clarified if it was our first experience or not – and then poured the ayahuasca from the corresponding bottle.  The Silence After everyone had taken the first toma, the silence began. This great silence was the most obvious difference I experienced between that of the tradition of Santo

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Psychedelics, Yoga and the Shamanic Journey Part II – Ayahuasca

Unlike the previous blogpost, the following account is written more like a Ayahuasca case study – with the subject being me. As I had discussed in Part I, about two years ago I had reached a point in my life where I was feeling quite stuck and apathetic towards life. This worried me greatly as twice before I had already experienced this kind of empty heaviness and I knew from experience, it could act as a precursor to a darker hole of depression and suicidal ideation if I did not get out of it soon. The discipline of Yoga is what pulled me out of that darkness years ago. I believe due to its direct work with the vagus nerve as theorized by Dr. Stephen Porges and its relationship to the psycho-biological aspects of trauma, it continued to offer me the energy necessary to continue with daily life, but I knew I needed to go deeper. I could tell that there was something hidden inside of me that was stubbornly there, causing me to doubt my own worth and the beauty life was always offering me. Therefore, due to the years of research and personal stories that I had listened to and read previously on DMT and plant based psychedelic therapy, I decided to take the jump and explore this experience for myself. This is when I was presented with the opportunity to participate in five different ceremonies of Ayahuasca with a Brazilian Shamana from the Santo Daime Tradition and a therapist associated with the research group ICEERS, in Barcelona, Spain. Ayahuasca and the Santo Daime Tradition  Only in the tropical, eclectically spiritual and diverse environment of Brazil could such an interesting mix of ancient tribal traditions, plant medicine and catholic ritual be fused together to create the Santo Daime tradition. Dai-me means “give me” in Portuguese. The Portuguese phrase, Dai-me força, dai-me amor (“give me strength, give me love”), recurs in the doctrine’s hymns. It was founded around the 1930s in Brazil by Raimundo Irineu Serra and incorporates elements of several religious or spiritual traditions including Folk Catholicism, Kardecist Spiritism, African animism and indigenous South American shamanism. Ayahuasca, referred to as Daime, is drunk as part of the ceremony. The combination of both music and silence are integral in the experience of these ceremonies. Ayahuasca itself is a kind of thick tea that is composed of two different plants. The ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi) and a shrub called chacruna (Psychotria viridis), which contains the hallucinogenic drug dimethyltryptamine (DMT). These two plants are mixed together because without the ayahuasca vine the hallucinagentic effects of the chacruna will not be experienced.  In other words, without the ayahuasca vine the DMT found in chacruna will not be absorbed by the body and will essentially move through the system without any effect*. It is the the ayahuasca vine that provides the necessary alkaloids which inhibit monoamine oxidase type A, thus enabling the oral absorption of dimethyltryptamine (DMT) found in the chacruna leaves. The historian Grahm Hancock points out that this is pretty amazing since there are more than 150,000 plant species in the Amazon and of these 150,000 species, the healers and Shamans of the Amazon were able to figure out how to marry these two different plants together and boil them in water so that the effects of DMT could actually be experienced. The people of the Amazon do not take credit for this discovery though and rather acknowledge that the spirits taught them the wonders of this botanical miracle.  This mix of chacruna and Ayahuasca ´tea´ is administered by a shaman in quantities dependent upon the experience of the participant and potency of the plant, but in general, each ´toma´, or dose, is around 50 – 70mg.  If you are interested in learning more about the chemical make-up and history of Ayahuasca in greater detail, I suggest visiting the ICEERS website here.  *Diplopterys cabrerana is another common plant that is used instead of P. viridis, depending on availability in the region. The Experience: Objectively, my experiences of Ayuahuasca in the Santo Daime Tradition were all very similar. The same songs, the same eclectic mix of spiritual icons, with the same Shamana and the same Ayuahuasca formula. However, even though there were somatic expressions and images that were experienced repeatedly, the subjective experience of each one of these ceremonies was completely different from the other. Ceremony I One of the somatic expressions that repeated itself in each Ayahuasca session was a physical trembling from my right leg all the way up deep into cavity of my pelvic floor and iliac crest. A similar tremble was felt along my left shoulder. Curiously, these physical tremblings were very similar to what I had experienced in the trainings and workshops of Somatic Experience and are the areas in my Yoga Asana practice where I am most often stuck. Due to my training as a therapist, these tremblings sent my analytic mind off trying to find an explanation. As my mind mulled and ruminated over what these tremblings could possibly mean, I heard something in the distance start laughing. This is when I was introduced to my little friend Ka, a wiggling, sarcastic and humorous snake character that would come into my minds eye and tell me to stop interpreting my experience. It’s exact words that I will forever remember were ´your mind is very poorly educated and rebellious, shut-up and let me do my job´.  With my eyes still closed, laying face up on the floor, I laughed out load at this very sharp and accurately honest commentary. My loud belly laughter then transformed into a quiet and delightful giggle as I watched, in my minds eye, the spinning and joyful dance of this little snake as my body trembled and my right hand spun around and around as if it was dancing sevillanas. At the end of session I experienced an ecstatic joy and sense of clarity that kept me up all night writing down and drawing everything I had experienced as well

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Hatha Yoga: The Union towards Liberation

All search is in vain until we begin to perceive that knowledge is within ourselves, that no one can help us, that we must help ourselves. – (Patanjali-Vivekananda 2: 27) I started to write this blog a few weeks ago. With the quarantine for COVID-19, I am even more convinced of the wisdom and liberating power of the ancient discipline of Hatha Yoga. With the isolation and solitude of the quarantine, more than ever before, there are pieces of me everyday that I find broken. Wobbly. Stuck. Unhinged. With more time at home and less classes, I practice more. I spend more time observing each detail of each posture. I spend more time receiving classes (albeit online) observing deeply the purpose and efficacy of each Yoga Asana. The more I practice, the more I understand that the work of Yoga Asana has very little to do with Yoga asana. I understand now more than ever that the practice of Hatha Yoga Asana has been developed so that I, and no one else, from the the inside out, can figure out how to mend, strengthen and heal these aforementioned broken pieces. It is my work and my work alone to feel and watch how these pieces manifest in my body, the rhythm of my heart and in the speed of my breath. That is your work. And your work alone. The system and structure of Hatha Yoga provides guides, teachers and books to point the way. It provides these little classrooms called Asana to teach, develop and fine tune the art and skill of observation. Of living presently. Of living freely. And there is no possibility of cheating. The only one who can enter and fully take advantage of each classroom lesson each Asana offers, is you, is me. The real work of Hatha Yoga Asana begins when we stop talking, comparing, judging, interpreting and simply begin listening. What is Hatha Yoga? When your mind has become controlled you will have control over the whole body instead of being a slave to the machine, the machine will be your slave. Instead of this machine (the body) being able to drag the soul down, it will be its greatest helpmate. -Patanjali – Vivekananda  (2: 41) Hatha Yoga is any kind of Yoga that uses the physical body (annamaya kosha) to influence and gain control over the mind (manomaya kosha). In the western world, the mind and body have often been separated. The body has been viewed as the enemy to the logical mind. This perception of disconnection between mind and body started to change with philosophers like Fredrick Nietzsche and psychologists like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. Freud had many faults, but his lifelong work of psychoanalysis recognized that anxiety and stress hidden in the unconscious mind often manifested itself in destructive behaviors and physical ailments. The physical body being influenced by mind stuff is nothing new to Yoga philosophy. A brief study of the Koshas will make that clear. The difference between Freudian psychology and Hatha Yoga is simply the point of entrance. The mind is difficult to control. It is an abstract thing that  even today, no scientist can say with certainty where it exists or where it came from. It is for this reason, instead of using a mental tool like psychoanalysis, the practice of Hatha Yoga uses the physical and very tangible door of the body to change, transform and heal the intangible and unconscious mind. The great system of Hatha Yoga has been developed and taught for over four thousand years to help human beings let go of unconscious stress and trauma hidden in the body. Trauma and stress held in the body can be related directly to our own personal history, or it may have its origin in the genetic and conditioned history of our family and culture. Scientists, psychologists and western medical doctors like Dr. Van der Kolk, Dr. Peter Levine, and Dr. Gabor Maté are now confirming the efficacy of entering the door of the body to heal the trauma that torments the mind. Statistically, studies are now showing that therapeutic body work has been proven to be even more effective than pharmaceuticals or talking therapy alone.  Through physical postures (Asana), breath awareness (Pranayama), ethical practices (Yamas y Niyamas) and the concentrated observation of all of the above (Dharana, Diana and Samahdi), Hatha Yoga provides a system that educates a student how to be FREE. It provides steps and practices for students to gain balance and control over their physical body as well as their nervous system so that they are no longer slaves to negative and destructive unconscious behaviors or thoughts. What does HATHA mean? Hatha literally means Sun (Ha) and Moon (Tha). Yoga means the union between these two. When we reflect over what the Sun and Moon represent in Hindu mythology (and many others) it becomes clear why the union and balance of these two energies grant us liberty. In most world mythologies the symbol of the sun is related with masculine energy while the energy of the moon is related to feminine energy. The concept of energy is not the same as gender or sex. Masculine and feminine energies simply represent different characteristics in the human experience. The two energies exist together in order to create and maintain the delicate balance of life on our Earth. For example, without the sun all of life on earth would die from the cold and lack of nutrition provided by its faraway rays. However, did you realize that without the moon and her gravitational pull, life as we know it would not exist either? Primordial life started in the small tide pools, the small Petri dishes of creation, left behind by the cyclical push and pull of moons gravity on ocean waters. If it were not for the rising and falling tides produced by the moon and its gravitational pull, there would not be the necessary movement within the waters of the ocean to help

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The JOY of Non-Attachment: Surviving the trauma of Covid 19

´The more you fly from nature, the more she follows you, and if you do not care for her at all, she becomes your servant. ´ Patanjali Sutras 2:27 I am of the opinion that every guideline, practice and ethical rule was carefully selected by Patanjali and placed within the Yoga sutras to help us increase our perception of freedom so that we experience greater happiness and joy in BEING. One of these ethical practices outlined in the Yoga Sutras to help us achieve that is Aparigraha- non attachment. With all the chaos, loss and uncertainty surrounding COVID 19, now more than ever, the ancient practice of Aparigraha (Non- Attachment) is fundamental to our psychological and physical wellbeing.    Aparigraha (अपरिग्रह) : Non – Attachment ´That effort, which comes to those who have given up their thirst after objects either seen or heard, and which wills to control the objects, is non-attachment.´ Patanjali Sutras 1:15. Aparigraha or non–attachment is the last Yama in Patanjali’s Eight Limbs of Yoga. Aparigraha is the yogic injunction for non-possessing, non-grasping. It is the negation of Parigraha (परिग्रह): taking possession or holding onto things. It is giving up the notion of mine-ness in everything and for that reason is also translated as generosity. Perception of Freedom As expounded upon in previous blog posts the perception that we are in control of our own life experience is fundamental to our levels of life satisfaction and joy. Humans beings who feel trapped and unable to make their own decisions, just like any other animal in captivity, suffer not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Loss Aversion  ´Attachment is that which dwells on pleasure. Aversion is that which dwells on pain ´ Patanjali Sutras  2:7-8 Loss aversion is a psychological term used to describe the perspectives and actions we take to avoid the loss of some object, ideal and/or identity. According to Kahneman and Tversky (1979) if we lose something that we define as OURS than we suffer twice as much than if we lose the something that we never claimed ownership to. This is not limited to physical objects. Many of us lay claim various identities or ideals and get very upset if they are threatened or questioned. What is more, the more we have suffered or invested in achieving said object, identity or  idea, the more averse we are to letting it go.  Freedom from Loss  The psychological result of grasping onto objects, relationships or identities results in suffering as our aversion to loss to any or all of the above, especially if we have invested a lot of time or money, results in a decrease in the perception of freedom. Fear of loss controls us rather than freedom of choice. Patanjali observed that practicing the art of Aparigraha provides a way out from such a circumstance. By freeing ourselves from the fear of loss we gain greater control over our life experience. With nothing to lose, the world becomes a playground of limitless possibilities. —————————— Trauma ¨The child is instinctively afraid because the past experience of pain is there…these feelings (fear, anger, hate etc.) have to be controlled in the germ, the root, in their fine forms even before we have become conscious that they are acting on us. Then alone will we be able to burn out their very seed…the ability to detach ourselves from our thoughts  is the only way to freedom (2:9/1:15) According to researchers Dr. Von der Kolk and Dr. Peter Levine trauma results from the incapacity to be able to respond to a threat by either fighting or running away . The nervous system response to the incapacity to fight off or escape a possible threat is to freeze. This results in a state of paralysis and disassociation from the body. Trauma is often viewed as something physical that is experienced but it can also result from abandonment, group exclusion and loss. This is because, from an evolutionary perspective, in the wild, without the protection of the group, a lone human is very vulnerable to attack and death.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) results when the perception of control and safety is taken away and then revisited again and again through memories, nightmares and bodily tension. Trauma and Aparigraha Yoga has been proven to be very effective in releasing and healing trauma. It is though the practice of Aparigraha we can learn how to nullify the very chemically stress responses of trauma and stress before they even begin. Instead of getting defensive, anxious or shutting down emotionally when we are faced with the possibility of losing something or someone, we are able to short circuit the usual biological defense response by remember it was never ours to begin with. This allows us to respond with compassion and logic rather than with fear and ego. In the middle of a storm, Aparigraha allows us to remain still in contemplative observation.  Aparigraha, Karma and relationships ´Work incessantly but give up all attachment to work. Do not identify yourself with anything. Hold your mind free. Misery comes through attachment, not through work´(1.2.7  Karma) The law of Karma (work/action) dictates that the energy, intention and action you put out moves in an eternal loop to come right back to the you. The erroneous interpretation of this work/action loop is that the subject benefiting or receiving said action is somehow obligated to return the favor to the supplier. This erróneas interpretation, especially in relationships,  is the root cause for all kinds of suffering and unhappiness. The attachment (Aparigraha) to various codes of behavior and expectations makes our happiness and satisfaction dependent upon the response of others. The practice of non-attachment to the result of our actions (karma) offers us a way out of bondage from these relational expectations. Confirming this theory, various psychological investigations have shown that when we do selfless acts of kindness, our levels of well being increase and are longer lasting then when we act WITH the expectation of compensation.  Aparigraha, the soul and death

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