Unlike the previous blogpost, the following account is written more like a Ayahuasca case study – with the subject being me. As I had discussed in Part I, about two years ago I had reached a point in my life where I was feeling quite stuck and apathetic towards life. This worried me greatly as twice before I had already experienced this kind of empty heaviness and I knew from experience, it could act as a precursor to a darker hole of depression and suicidal ideation if I did not get out of it soon. The discipline of Yoga is what pulled me out of that darkness years ago. I believe due to its direct work with the vagus nerve as theorized by Dr. Stephen Porges and its relationship to the psycho-biological aspects of trauma, it continued to offer me the energy necessary to continue with daily life, but I knew I needed to go deeper. I could tell that there was something hidden inside of me that was stubbornly there, causing me to doubt my own worth and the beauty life was always offering me. Therefore, due to the years of research and personal stories that I had listened to and read previously on DMT and plant based psychedelic therapy, I decided to take the jump and explore this experience for myself. This is when I was presented with the opportunity to participate in five different ceremonies of Ayahuasca with a Brazilian Shamana from the Santo Daime Tradition and a therapist associated with the research group ICEERS, in Barcelona, Spain. Ayahuasca and the Santo Daime Tradition Only in the tropical, eclectically spiritual and diverse environment of Brazil could such an interesting mix of ancient tribal traditions, plant medicine and catholic ritual be fused together to create the Santo Daime tradition. Dai-me means “give me” in Portuguese. The Portuguese phrase, Dai-me força, dai-me amor (“give me strength, give me love”), recurs in the doctrine’s hymns. It was founded around the 1930s in Brazil by Raimundo Irineu Serra and incorporates elements of several religious or spiritual traditions including Folk Catholicism, Kardecist Spiritism, African animism and indigenous South American shamanism. Ayahuasca, referred to as Daime, is drunk as part of the ceremony. The combination of both music and silence are integral in the experience of these ceremonies. Ayahuasca itself is a kind of thick tea that is composed of two different plants. The ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi) and a shrub called chacruna (Psychotria viridis), which contains the hallucinogenic drug dimethyltryptamine (DMT). These two plants are mixed together because without the ayahuasca vine the hallucinagentic effects of the chacruna will not be experienced. In other words, without the ayahuasca vine the DMT found in chacruna will not be absorbed by the body and will essentially move through the system without any effect*. It is the the ayahuasca vine that provides the necessary alkaloids which inhibit monoamine oxidase type A, thus enabling the oral absorption of dimethyltryptamine (DMT) found in the chacruna leaves. The historian Grahm Hancock points out that this is pretty amazing since there are more than 150,000 plant species in the Amazon and of these 150,000 species, the healers and Shamans of the Amazon were able to figure out how to marry these two different plants together and boil them in water so that the effects of DMT could actually be experienced. The people of the Amazon do not take credit for this discovery though and rather acknowledge that the spirits taught them the wonders of this botanical miracle. This mix of chacruna and Ayahuasca ´tea´ is administered by a shaman in quantities dependent upon the experience of the participant and potency of the plant, but in general, each ´toma´, or dose, is around 50 – 70mg. If you are interested in learning more about the chemical make-up and history of Ayahuasca in greater detail, I suggest visiting the ICEERS website here. *Diplopterys cabrerana is another common plant that is used instead of P. viridis, depending on availability in the region. The Experience: Objectively, my experiences of Ayuahuasca in the Santo Daime Tradition were all very similar. The same songs, the same eclectic mix of spiritual icons, with the same Shamana and the same Ayuahuasca formula. However, even though there were somatic expressions and images that were experienced repeatedly, the subjective experience of each one of these ceremonies was completely different from the other. Ceremony I One of the somatic expressions that repeated itself in each Ayahuasca session was a physical trembling from my right leg all the way up deep into cavity of my pelvic floor and iliac crest. A similar tremble was felt along my left shoulder. Curiously, these physical tremblings were very similar to what I had experienced in the trainings and workshops of Somatic Experience and are the areas in my Yoga Asana practice where I am most often stuck. Due to my training as a therapist, these tremblings sent my analytic mind off trying to find an explanation. As my mind mulled and ruminated over what these tremblings could possibly mean, I heard something in the distance start laughing. This is when I was introduced to my little friend Ka, a wiggling, sarcastic and humorous snake character that would come into my minds eye and tell me to stop interpreting my experience. It’s exact words that I will forever remember were ´your mind is very poorly educated and rebellious, shut-up and let me do my job´. With my eyes still closed, laying face up on the floor, I laughed out load at this very sharp and accurately honest commentary. My loud belly laughter then transformed into a quiet and delightful giggle as I watched, in my minds eye, the spinning and joyful dance of this little snake as my body trembled and my right hand spun around and around as if it was dancing sevillanas. At the end of session I experienced an ecstatic joy and sense of clarity that kept me up all night writing down and drawing everything I had experienced as well
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